When Did Sneakers Get So Weird?

It's just before 5pm that I always ponder the deepest mysteries of our universe. This afternoon I'm harkening back to the retail experience I had at lunchtime, when I purchased a new pair of sneakers.

Naturally, I went for some dark, bland running shoes, the kind that old white guys like me change into before running to catch the train home. But I couldn't help but marvel at the array of strange athletic shoes spread across the display wall.

When did sneakers become do decorative? In my lifetime they've evolved from white or black shoes with a round circle logo on the side to strange, garish swirling things that would frighten Ziggy Stardust.

It's not that people don't wear garish shirts, pants, skirts and leather pumps, but sneaker designers seem to truly challenge each other to redefine loudness with each new model. And customers have bought into the idea that they should look like Bozo the Clown or Dorothy with the ruby slippers if they want to be with it. In fact, they pay dearly for the right to shine. Sneakers (I mean, athletic shoes) run anywhere from about $80. to $250. these days.

I guess all that orange, silver and green polyurethane has to be used somewhere.